I can handle pain.

I'm filthy rich!

Through my films I'm eventually trying to one day tell the truth. I don't know if I'm ever going to get there, but I'm slowly letting pieces of myself out there and then maybe by the time I'm 85, I'll look back and say, 'All right, that about sums it up.'

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she’ll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

Well I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

I’m 31 now. I think I’m beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.